The Underbelly of Search (or, what's up with fishing and divorce?)

A friend of mine runs a regular report you can get that shows the top search engine phrases used in the last 24 hours. In order to make it onto this list, hundreds to thousands of searches have to be run using that same phrase. This report is a "day in the life" of the web - but it's the real web, the down and dirty underbelly of it all, not the glossy stuff reported in the magazines who are trumpeting e-commerce's ability to free us all.

It's the psychology, stupid. No really -- I mean that. Reading over JVV's report, I'm totally, horribly, voyeuristically fascinated by the strange things we humans search for on the web. And I'm really fascinated by the stupid strange connections between the different searches, and what the rankings of various searches say about our society and the human psyche.

     #Rank  Percent  Query Text   
      12    0.00046  pamela anderson   

I'm happy that Pamela is still popular, but I wonder what she and her ex-hubby think about the fact that "pamela anderson lee" is ranked 504 and tied with "thongs"?

       25    0.00036  carmen electra   
       26    0.00033  lingerie   

Should we worry about what these two phrases being so close together says about what a "real" man wants? Actually, I'm more worried about the fact that Shania Twain ranks above sex:

       66    0.00019  shania twain   
       79    0.00017  sex   


      133    0.00013  irs   
      134    0.00012  poems   

And what does it mean that the IRS and poems are neck and neck? Are poetry and taxes somehow connected? Since death doesn't appear for another hundred or so search phrases, one has to worry.

We worship both characters and the actors who play them - but what does it mean to our society when a gun-toting animation is searched for more often than the living person who plays a gun-toting doll on TV - and that person is tied with a baby with a TV in it's belly?

      142    0.00012  lara croft   
      151    0.00011  teletubbies   
      151-T  0.00011  gillian anderson   

What does it mean when the hero of our generation, the best living athlete in the world, isn't searched for as often as these two women? And what does Katarina think of being tied with Anna Nicole?

      225    0.00009  katarina witt   
      225-T  0.00009  anna nicole smith   
      229    0.00009  michael jordan   

I can understand the connection between Buffy and the Kama Sutra (she's nimble enough, after all) but how do the birthday cards fit in? Exactly who is getting these cards, and what are they wishes for?

      440    0.00006  kama sutra   
      440-T  0.00006  buffy   
      440-T  0.00006  birthday cards   

Is childhood too competitive these days? Or is it the lack of quality playthings that drives this connection:

      514-T  0.00006  toys   
      514-T  0.00006  suicide   

Now here's a set worth some individual contemplation:

      521-T  0.00006  jerry springer   
      521-T  0.00006  death   
      521-T  0.00006  christina ricci   

As a wife, I have to admit to not seeing how the following could be equal. But I'm sure that the FBI is looking into it:

      621    0.00005  wives   
      621-T  0.00005  web hosting   
      621-T  0.00005  sex stories   
      621-T  0.00005  fbi   

And if the connection between wives and sex stories seems tenuous to you, maybe this next set makes more sense:

      644-T  0.00005  fishing   
      644-T  0.00005  divorce   

Music searches are constantly in the top 1000, and are driven by everyone from country fans to rappers. Most music searches are driven by fans. However, I'm wondering if the moms out there are the force making the next two phrases come out equal:

      716-T  0.00004  satan   
      716-T  0.00004  pearl jam   

And the IRS returns for a second showing...but it's really suspicious where they appear:

      850-T  0.00004  mexico   
      850-T  0.00004  internal revenue service   
      850-T  0.00004  hair styles   

Nice to know that the web is good for planning escape routes.

As we get to the end of the list, I wonder, are folks looking for a good-looking lawyer, or trying to find a recipe that even a skinny girl could love?

      930-T  0.00004  anarchist cookbook   
      930-T  0.00004  ally mcbeal   

And finally, when it all gets to the end, there is one connection that really makes sense:

      988-T  0.00004  superbowl   
      988-T  0.00004  stock market   

Betting...that's what it's all about, isn't it?

For more words, stop by my friend's web site: http://www.mall-net.com/se_report/

written 1/26/99

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